Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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