I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
