Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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