Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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