naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize