went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he puts the penis in happiness.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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