fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think my vagina is haunted
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
