I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
