I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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