hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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