What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
