All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
