your room smells of hookers.
And success
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
