I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
