My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
