we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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