three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
