that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
