So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This baby is an asshole
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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