I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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