that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
