i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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