In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
