dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
