He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
