I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
