thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I fill condoms, not promises.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
