when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
