your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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