oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
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She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
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we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
where are my eyebrows?
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