Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
