I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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