I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
And then he peed in my hair
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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