i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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