wakey wakey hands off snakey
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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