I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
