During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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