Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize