its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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