I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You pole danced in your parka.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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