I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
