sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
