Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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