happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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