I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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