and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
