he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
