did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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