I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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