Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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