How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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