I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
