I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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