Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
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Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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