There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
