I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
