Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
This is the high leading the old right now
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize