did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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