i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
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IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
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We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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