I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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