he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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