I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
